The Golden Girls is a beloved sitcom that aired from 1985 to 1992, following the lives of four older women living together in Miami. One of the most memorable characters from the show is Dorothy Zbornak, portrayed by the talented Bea Arthur. Dorothy’s quick wit and sarcastic remarks have made her an iconic character in television history. In this article, we have compiled a list of some of the most hilarious and memorable Dorothy Golden Girls quotes that will make you laugh out loud.
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“You can’t put a price on love, but you can damn well put a price on all its accessories.” – Dorothy Zbornak
Read these Dorothy Golden Girls quotes
“If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself…or ask someone who doesn’t like the person you want it done to.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’ve been having nightmares lately. I dreamt that I was 10,000 feet tall and my mother was hiding me in the basement of Macy’s.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not a big believer in therapy. But I do believe in screaming at people.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible, Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’ve given up trying to be perfect. I’m too fabulous for that.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not a one in a million kind of girl. I’m a once in a lifetime kind of woman.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“My mother always used to say: ‘The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.'” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I once dated a guy who could balance a spoon on his nose. But I dumped him because I found out he was seeing a fork on the side.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“The only difference between a marriage and a mental institution is that in a mental institution, you get to keep your own clothes.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I don’t want to get too personal, but I think I’m about to die. I just looked down and saw my thighs.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not a nag. I’m a motivational speaker.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I once got a standing ovation for turning off a lamp.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I told him I was a virgin, and he said, ‘You mean virgo?’ I said, ‘No, I mean 30 years old and unmarried!'” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist with a sense of humor.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I once had a psychic tell me that I would meet a tall, dark, and handsome stranger. So I stayed home and watched Casablanca.” – Dorothy Zbornak
“I’m not old, I’m ripe.” – Dorothy Zbornak
These Dorothy Golden Girls quotes are just a taste of the humor and wit that made the character so beloved. Whether you’re a fan of the show or just appreciate a good laugh, Dorothy’s one-liners are sure to brighten your day.
