Artemus Ward, born Charles Farrar Browne, was an American humorist and newspaper columnist in the mid-19th century. Known for his wit and satirical writing, Ward’s quotes have continued to resonate with audiences even to this day. Whether you’re looking for a good laugh or some clever insights, Artemus Ward’s quotes are sure to entertain and enlighten.
Ward’s unique style of humor combined satire with a touch of absurdity, making his quotes both hilarious and thought-provoking. His ability to see the humor in everyday situations allowed him to captivate readers and leave them in stitches. From his observations on politics to his musings on life’s absurdities, Artemus Ward’s quotes offer a refreshing and witty perspective on the world.
In this article, we have compiled a collection of Artemus Ward’s most memorable quotes. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these gems from one of America’s greatest humorists.
Read these Artemus Ward quotes:
“I’ve got a grand piano that the mice can’t play on.”
“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
“I’ve been told that you can’t have everything. I think they’re wrong. I think you can have everything. Just not all at once.”
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.”
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”
“I never said most of the things I said.”
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”
“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.”
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
“Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.”
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
These are just a few of the many unforgettable quotes by Artemus Ward. His wit and humor continue to inspire and bring joy to readers of all generations. Whether you need a pick-me-up or a good laugh, Artemus Ward’s quotes are guaranteed to brighten your day.
