Arthur Aron is a renowned psychologist who is best known for his research on interpersonal relationships. One of his most famous contributions to the field is the set of 36 questions that are designed to foster intimacy and connection between two individuals. These questions have gained popularity in recent years due to their ability to create a sense of closeness and vulnerability in a relatively short period of time.
The questions are divided into three sets, with each set becoming progressively more intimate. The idea behind these questions is that by answering them, individuals gradually open up and reveal more about themselves, fostering a deeper connection with their conversation partner. This concept has been widely used in various settings, such as dating, therapy, and team building exercises.
If you are interested in trying out these questions for yourself, we have compiled a list of Arthur Aron’s 36 questions below. These questions are designed to be asked one at a time, with each person taking turns to answer. Remember to create a safe and comfortable environment where both parties feel free to share and be vulnerable.
See these Arthur Aron 36 Questions
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
- What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- Name three things you and your conversation partner appear to have in common.
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
- Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
- Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
- If you were going to become a close friend with your conversation partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
- Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
- Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
- Tell your partner what you think they should know about you, including any fears or insecurities.
- Share a total of five items that you consider to be positive characteristics of your conversation partner.
- How do you feel about your relationship with your father?
- Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
- Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
These questions are just a starting point for deepening connections and fostering intimacy. Remember to listen actively and respond empathetically to your conversation partner. By engaging in this exercise, you may discover new insights about yourself and those around you.
