Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in 1902, was an American comedian and singer. Known for his quick wit and sarcastic humor, he became a popular figure in the entertainment industry during the mid-20th century. Lewis was renowned for his ability to deliver hilarious one-liners and memorable quotes that continue to resonate with audiences today.
Throughout his career, Joe E. Lewis shared his unique perspective on life, love, and laughter. His quotes not only provided comic relief but also offered insightful observations on the human condition. From his humorous take on relationships to his witty remarks about success and failure, Joe E. Lewis’s quotes can still bring a smile to anyone’s face.
Read these joe e.lewis quotes
“I’ve been on a calendar, but never on time.”
“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!”
“I’ve been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”
“I’ve read about foreign policy and studied nuclear energy. I’ve enjoyed the symphony, the opera, and ballet. But the most exciting thing I’ve ever found is a television set on sale.”
“I’m thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
“I was so ugly as a baby, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot.”
“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Believe me, rich is better.”
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”
“I drink to forget I drink.”
“I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk.”
“I’m not against the police; I’m just afraid of them.”
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
“I don’t drink anymore, but I don’t drink any less either.”
“I only drink to make other people interesting.”
“I’m going to stop procrastinating… starting tomorrow.”
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
“I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.”
“I was so broke, I couldn’t even afford to pay attention.”
“I’m not afraid of dying; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
These quotes by Joe E. Lewis serve as a reminder of his comedic genius and his ability to find humor in even the most mundane situations. Whether you are in need of a good laugh or seeking some lighthearted wisdom, these quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. Joe E. Lewis may have passed away in 1971, but his words continue to entertain and inspire audiences to this day.
