Major Payne is a hilarious comedy film that was released in 1995. It stars Damon Wayans as Major Benson Winifred Payne, a tough military officer who is assigned to train a group of unruly young cadets. The movie is filled with memorable quotes that will make you laugh out loud. Whether you’re a fan of the film or just looking for some good laughs, here are some of the best Major Payne movie quotes that will surely entertain you.
“I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst!” – Major Payne
“You can come out of the bushes now. The war is over.” – Major Payne
“You better get your mind right, boy, or I’m gonna be your worst nightmare!” – Major Payne
Read these Major Payne Movie Quotes
“Don’t you eyeball me, boy. I see you, eyeballin’ me!” – Major Payne
“Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are truly injured, unlike that…hurt biddy-biddy you’ve got goin’ on down there.” – Major Payne
“I’m gonna make you a lean, mean, killing machine!” – Major Payne
“I’m gonna teach you boys how to win every game, every time!” – Major Payne
“You can run, but you’ll only die tired!” – Major Payne
“What are you doing, boy? Trying to see if your wee-wee is still there?” – Major Payne
“Pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever.” – Major Payne
“You better stop eyeballin’ me, boy, or I’m gonna rip your lip off and kiss your teeth goodnight!” – Major Payne
“I’m lookin’ for the meanest, toughest, son of a bitch in this place!” – Major Payne
“You have the manners of a goat, and you smell like a dung heap!” – Major Payne
“I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst!” – Major Payne
“Now you listen to me, Private. I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we’re stuck together. So you better learn to like me!” – Major Payne
“Pain is temporary, but victory is forever!” – Major Payne
“When I was a kid, my daddy used to spank my bare behind with a piece of garden hose. At least I think it was garden hose.” – Major Payne
“You think I’m crazy? Well, listen up, you maggots! I used to be crazy, but now I have a certificate!” – Major Payne
“You’re gonna learn to be soldiers, or you’re gonna be dead soldiers!” – Major Payne
“You’re about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!” – Major Payne
“I am a killing machine. I am a weapon of mass destruction!” – Major Payne
“Pain is weakness leaving the body!” – Major Payne
“I’m gonna beat the living hell out of you, and then I’m gonna beat the hell out of you some more!” – Major Payne
These Major Payne movie quotes are just a glimpse of the hilarious and memorable lines from the film. If you haven’t watched it yet, be sure to check it out for a good laugh. Major Payne will leave you in stitches with his over-the-top antics and tough love approach to training. So grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the ride!
