Otis B. Driftwood is a fictional character known for his witty and sarcastic remarks. Played by Groucho Marx in the iconic movie “A Night at the Opera,” Otis B. Driftwood quickly became a fan favorite for his quick wit and humorous one-liners. Whether you’re a fan of the Marx Brothers or just appreciate a good laugh, here are some memorable Otis B. Driftwood quotes that will surely brighten your day.
From poking fun at social norms to clever wordplay, Otis B. Driftwood’s quotes are timeless and continue to bring laughter to audiences today. His unique perspective on life and the absurdities of society make him a beloved character that people can’t help but quote. So, without further ado, let’s dive into some hilarious and memorable quotes from Otis B. Driftwood.
Read these Otis B. Driftwood quotes:
Read these Otis B. Driftwood quotes
“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”
“I don’t know what they have to say, it makes no difference anyway. Whatever it is, I’m against it!”
“I’ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
“You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.”
“Hello, I must be going.”
“I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.”
“I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you come home.”
“Why, a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can’t make head or tail out of it.”
“Remember, you’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably more than she ever did.”
“I got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
“I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.”
“You’re willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.”
“I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.”
“I’ve got a good mind to go home and pack up my wife and kids and leave you flat.”
“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
“I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”
“I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.”
“Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?”
“I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you came along.”
“I’m against those things that everybody hates.”
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
These Otis B. Driftwood quotes are just a glimpse of the comedic genius that Groucho Marx brought to the character. Whether you’re a fan of classic movies or just in need of a good laugh, Otis B. Driftwood’s quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
So, the next time you need a pick-me-up or want to share a hilarious quote with your friends, remember Otis B. Driftwood and his unforgettable wit. After all, laughter is the best medicine, and Otis B. Driftwood has plenty of it to offer.







