Portal 2, developed by Valve Corporation, is a critically acclaimed puzzle-platform video game that offers an immersive and humorous gameplay experience. One of the standout characters in the game is Cave Johnson, the eccentric founder and CEO of Aperture Science. Known for his charismatic personality and witty remarks, Cave Johnson’s quotes have become iconic among fans of the game. In this article, we will take a look at some of the most memorable quotes from Cave Johnson in Portal 2.
Cave Johnson’s character is voiced by actor J.K. Simmons, whose exceptional performance brings the character to life. As the player progresses through the game, they are greeted with Cave Johnson’s humorous and sometimes bizarre quotes, which add an extra layer of entertainment to the gameplay experience. From his obsession with lemons to his ambitious plans for Aperture Science, Cave Johnson’s quotes never fail to bring a smile to the player’s face.
Now, let’s dive into some of the best quotes from Cave Johnson in Portal 2:
Read these Portal 2 Quotes: Cave Johnson
“Alright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
“Science isn’t about why. It’s about why not. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won’t hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired!”
“Alright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
“Remember, if a machine does not provide you with a recorded message, it doesn’t speak, and if it doesn’t speak, it’s not alive. Therefore, we are safe from it.”
“The best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one. And I’ll be honest, killing you is hard. You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute, lunatic.”
“Alright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
“All right, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
“Now you might be asking yourself, ‘Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?’ Let me answer those questions with a question: ‘Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash.'”
“If we can store music on a compact disc, why can’t we store a man’s intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain mapping. Artificial intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this – and I’m gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.”
“Alright, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”
These quotes from Cave Johnson in Portal 2 are just a taste of the wit and humor that the game has to offer. Whether it’s his obsession with lemons or his ambitious plans for Aperture Science, Cave Johnson’s character adds an extra layer of entertainment to an already fantastic game. If you haven’t had the chance to experience Portal 2 yet, do yourself a favor and give it a try. You won’t be disappointed!
